Transcript of Jodi Arias' testimony released Tuesday

Officials released a transcript Tuesday of the closed-door testimony that convicted murderer Jodi Arias gave two months ago at her sentencing retrial.

Maricopa County Judge Sherry Stephens had kicked reporters and members of the public out of the courtroom for the first witness called by Arias.

Stephens explained the then-secret witness was skittish and wouldn't testify unless the courtroom was closed.

News organizations protested the decision.

An appeals court threw out Stephens' ruling, identified Arias as the witness and ordered a transcript of her testimony be released.

The transcript is nearly 250 pages.

One of the first questions to Jodi Arias came from her attorney Jennifer Wilmott who asked her if she killed Travis Alexander. "Yes," replied Jodi Arias.

Wilmott: "Why did it take you two years to admit that you did it?"
Arias: "It took my that long to be able to admit to myself that, that I did it."
Wilmott: "Why did it take you that long to admit it to yourself?"
Arias: "Because, because what I did was so horrific that I couldn't have, I could never have imagined myself doing that to another human being."

Jodi admitted to covering up the murder, leaving a message on Travis Alexanders phone machine, and going on a date the next date in Utah, and attending his memorial.

Wilmott: "Why couldn't you say something to somebody?"
Arias: "Something like that is just, that is, I mean I know who I am and who I have been my whole life, and I for those few minutes out of my whole life, I was somebody that I wasn't, and I couldn't, I couldn't face that."

Perhaps the most powerful moment in the two days of secret testimony: her attorney.
Wilmott: "And when you see the pictures that were taken after he died, and you see the number of stab wounds that there were, how do you feel about that when you see that?"
Arias: "Again, I think this is somebody that I cared about and I caused, I caused the pain. And those were his last moments and it makes me sick and I wish, I wish so badly that I could just do that whole day over again."

Testimony resumes on Wednesday.

We should also learn whether Judge Stephens will take the death penalty off the table as the result of what the defense claims is misconduct by prosecutors in covering up evidence of pornography on Alexander's computer during the first trial.

Arias was convicted of murder last year Alexander's death, but jurors deadlocked on whether she should be sentenced to life in prison or receive the death penalty.

A new jury was picked to decide her sentence.

Copyright 2015 The Associated Press modified.
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