Red flags of a teen in trouble and how parents can help

HOUSTON, TX - With our hearts breaking as we watch the unbearable news about another teen shooting in a school close to home, we ask the same question. Why? What is happening that another teen deliberately makes a plan, posts it on social media, and methodically kills anyone in his destructive path? Why didn't parents step in sooner and try to intervene to prevent this tragedy? Can we prevent it? Or do we have to become accustomed to school being a dangerous place?

Mental health experts, as well as crime and social science experts, remind us that all violence is not the same. This complicates the matter with some violence being due to impulsive behavior, drug use, mental illness, revenge, or disconnect. Many of these mass school shootings will never have a single reason for such violence. However, there are things parents can do to help their children not use violence as a solution. Children are greatly influenced by the actions and words of their parent or guardians. When a child becomes disconnected from the people who are supposed to love and nurture them the most, anger, depression, and hopelessness become their reality.

Don't allow the Santa Fe shooting to harden your heart. We are not helpless. We may not be able to personally change or create new laws, but we can change the environment in our homes and schools by modeling healthy behaviors. Parents are the barometers for their children. When parents practice good coping skills for anger and frustration, children learn. If you're a student concerned about a classmate, be brave enough to tell your parents or someone who can help. It's the honorable thing to do.

Credit: Psychotherapist, Mary Jo Rapini