How to have a "loving" divorce - FOX 10 News |

How to have a "loving" divorce

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(WJBK) -

Love and romance are usually the focus in February, but sometimes relationships don't work out. For people who have gone through, or are facing divorce, it can be difficult.

Bloomfield Hills divorce attorney, Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, says there is a way to have a "loving" divorce. That doesn't mean still being "in love," but loving yourself enough to keep the break-up civil. And it takes a commitment from both spouses to dissolve their relationship in a loving way.

Peskin-Shepherd says if you have kids, keep them in focus - what is truly best for them? Let that guide every decision you make. It is important for the children to see you both as loving parents, no matter what happens. You may be out of love with your spouse, but you still love those kids. If you don't have kids, be loving about your breakup for yourself. You can leave the relationship feeling like, "I did this well." And create a different kind of love and respect for your future relationships.

Here are Alisa Peskin-Shepherd's top tips:

Focus on resolution rather than the problems that brought you there.

As much as possible, don't let emotion drive decisions.

Surround yourself with the right people! Positive people who will steer you toward resolution and building a solid future rather than remaining mired in a past full of conflict.

Articulate your basic values - what is important to you? Then make your choices on that basis. If you know your priorities, it is easier to decide which fights are worth having and which ones you can set aside.

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