Teen suicide's impact on Arizona families
PHOENIX (KSAZ) - Suicide is not an easy subject to talk about, especially when it involves children. In Arizona, however, the state's teen suicide rate is at or near the top for teenage causes of death in the state.
"Mitch was an extremely well-liked kid," said Mitch's father, Tim Warnock. "He was very respected amongst the kids. He was one of the top pole-vaulters in the nation for high school. He had a lot of college offers on the table."
"My son was a hockey player, and he was a singer, and he was really good at both," said Micah Lieb's mother, Cynthia Lieb. "He used to do this thing because he was a goalie. He used to do this thing when he would go from the bench out to the net. I loved watching him play. I loved watching him sing."
"His passion in life was being a drummer," said Tyler Hedstrom's mother, Sheila Hedstrom-Pelger. "He was in the marching band, but was also a rock drummer. He had just come off the highest high of his life. He got to tour with the band for two weeks."
"Rudy was a very kind, thoughtful, smart young man," said Rudy Bencomo's mother, Deanna Bencomo. "He was pursuing a career in sports medicine, straight A's. He was friendly to everybody, had a lot of friends."
"If there was a perfect kid, it would be Preston," said Preston Kinney's mother, Nora Kinney. "He was the one that came home and did his homework before he did anything else. He did his chores. He was just an awesome kid. He was the one that would find kids at school that didn't have a friend and befriend those kids."
These are the voices of five Arizona parents who have all lost children to suicide.
Mitch Warnock was a championship pole vaulter at Corona del Sol.
Micah Lieb was a hockey player and singer at Campo Verde.
Tyler Hedstrom was a musician at Combs High.
Rudy Bencomo was a friend to all at Queen Creek.
Preston Kinney was a runner at Aprende Middle School.
"I found the note that he left us, and within maybe 10 minutes of frantically texting and searching the house, he hung himself on his pull up bar," said Tim.
"He said to me the day he died, 'mom, I don't want to go to hockey practice,'" said Cynthia.
"I was taking him to school and he said, 'mom, I have a bad headache', and I said, 'you can't miss school,' and he said 'I won't'," said Nora. "I'll never forget those words, because he never missed school again."
Following all of their deaths, many of their parents blamed themselves.
"I think between getting in trouble at school and having to face going back on the ice when he wasn't ready overwhelmed him, and I still feel guilty that I could have done better," said Cynthia.
"You find out things, there were opportunities to help him," said Sheila. "I wish I wouldn't have miss things. He was such a sensitive perfectionist. If you look a little deeper, he was beating himself up."
The teen suicide rate for Arizona has increased every year from 2009 to 2015, a staggering 81%. Last year's report showed signs of hope, however, with a 19% decrease. Unfotunately, it doesn't feel that way for Deanna, as her son is one of five students at Queen Creek High School that committed suicide since last May.
"For us mother's and parents, every time there's a child lost, like we're losing our child all over again," said Deanna. "We just want it to stop."
Nikki Kontz is the clinical director at Teen Lifeline, a call and text message peer-to-peer center devoted to helping teens in crisis.
"It's natural after a death, especially a suicide, we want to find the reasons why," said Kontz. "We're focused on trying to pinpoint that one thing, that one thing that could have changed everything, the reality is suicide is complicated."
Kontz recognizes that there has been an apparent spike in suicides in the East Valley. The 'why', however, is the tough part.
"To pinpoint just one thing it would be impossible, and if we were able to do that, I would not have a job," said Kontz. "There are a lots of suicide experts across the nation that we work with every day to find the solutions. Unfortunately, there's not just one solution."
Teen Lifeline's number is now printed on the back of all student ID cards at Queen Creek High. The school has also held assemblies to address the issue. For grieving parents, however, lifting the stigma and getting more people involved may not be a solution, but it's a start.
Nora says her son Preston turned to the internet before leaving a suicide note.
"These kids should not have to look on the internet for help," said Nora. "My husband and I didn't see it. His brothers and I didn't see it, but teachers, if they were more educated, they might. I'm pleading. I'm begging someone to do something for our kids."
Kontz, as well as many parents, supported a bill that would have made suicide prevention training mandatory for all school personnel in the state
"Bus drivers and janitors, they hear and see everything, office staff, but also our teachers are trained to identify kids who might be hurt at home, but we don't train them to identify a kid who might be emotionally struggling," said Kontz.
The bill stalled in the Arizona State Legislature.
The parents know the bill won't bring Mitch, Micah, Tyler, Rudy, or Preston back. However, just like a hockey game memorial or a walk in honor of those gone too soon, they believe anything to raise awareness about the problem would be the first step to ending it.
"This happens to good families, this happens to the kid who came to your house, and maybe he said something that you could have picked up on," said Tim. "I think I can speak for everyone one of us, everything we're doing and speaking out isn't going to bring our children back. It's for all those kids who are on the edge right now"
Early estimates show more than 40 Arizona kids committed suicide last year.
Need help? You're not alone. Call the teen lifeline at 800-248-8336, or visit teenlifeline.org